Let me make a few things abundantly clear before I begin:
- I love the Muppets.
- I marginally enjoy Lady Gaga.
- I love the holiday season.
Okay? Understood? Good. Because I don't know what I just watched, but it was the furthest thing from a Muppet Holiday Spectacular I have ever seen.
DAMN IT, GAGA.
And you know what? I had hopes. Not particularly high ones, but I had them. Gaga opens the show with a voice over about how the holidays for her growing up included The Muppets and their Christmas Specials. Alright, so she hooked me there. I love the Muppets, and I too watched (and still watch today) the older Muppet Christmas movies (WATCH OUT FOR THE ICY PATCH).
And then the show started. Which holiday classic song were the Muppets performing? Well... they weren't. Gaga took the stage with her backup dancers to perform "Venus" from her new album ArtPop. The Muppets eventually join her toward the end of the song to sort of sway and sing along... but already I could this was going to be a train wreck.
Normally I laugh along with Waldorf and Stadtler. It concerns me when I spend the whole special agreeing with them. ("There's nothing like a classic holiday song!" "And that was nothing like a classic holiday song.")
You would assume that a Holiday Spectacular would include...well, holiday music, right? Apparently not. Aside from two short inserts of Animal, Beaker, and the Swedish Chef doing their interpretations of holiday tunes, a performance of Santa Baby from Miss Piggy (which was a daydream), and a duet of Baby, It's Cold Outside between Gaga and Joseph Gordon-Levitt, the entire hour special was essentially an infomercial for Gaga's newest album.
I don't hate Gaga. I usually enjoy her music. I get her schtick. But if you promise me a Muppet Holiday Spectacular, GIVE ME A MUPPET HOLIDAY SPECTACULAR. Not the Muppets casually swaying in the background as you sing half of the album you're trying to sell. It's the holidays. Give me holiday music and classics Muppet variety show shenanigans.
Was I happy to see Sir Elton John singing Bennie and the Jets? Of course! But I'd have rather seen him do a Christmas song with the Muppets. The whole show just felt canned, and I don't just mean the audience laughter.
I'm disappointed. I'm going to go dig out A Muppet Family Christmas to bring my spirits back up. In the meantime, I'm locking this horror show away in the vault along with the Star Wars Christmas Special.
...yeah. It was that bad.
